Time changes everything, even you and I have changed

I'm a bitch. So is Life.
But there's a huge difference.
I don't put on sugary coatings.
I don't backstab you
Not unless you do so first.
-That's me

The rain, the winter spring has made us fade away


I really wonder how you feel on these nights so alone

JieQi Victoria Heidi

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“life will be better in spring”
May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011

"I'm a hypocrite..."
Wednesday, June 22, 2011 || 9:26 PM

"I'm a hypocrite"..."It doesn't matter how much, how often or how closely you keep an eye on things, you can't control it. Sometimes things and people go"... "Just like that."
So true... Everyone is a bloody hypocrite... And it all stems from caring. Just by caring, you become a hypocrite. Make sense? Maybe not, but it's true.

When you care, sometimes, you've got to do things that... Protect your interests. Not the right things for sure. Then, you pretend. That's a hypocrite. Everyone is one. Everyone has been a hypocrite.

I sound so cynical. Everyone says that. Another form of hypocrisy. More than anything, I want to have faith, but saying and doing.. 2 different things. I always wish I had the problems of other teenagers my age, they're so much simpler. But then, they wouldn't be problems any more.
I feel like I'm drowning in my thoughts.

You can become a hypocrite just by simply saying "I don't care", when actually, you DO care. Just one thin, tiny, almost invisible line... And beyond that, a thicker, more visible line on the side of hypocrisy, drawing the line between "Acceptable hypocrisy" and "Unacceptable hypocrisy".
Life is like a farce, an irony. Almost a hypocrisy in itself.

It's so damn tiring to try and keep up... And when you don't, you find yourself among those too tired to keep up too...

A thin line between everything, but you can't help but wonder. Is there a universal line? Or does the position of everyone's line differ? Or perhaps both?

I'm tired of I don't know... But there's not much I can do, is there?

All we can do is just continue on with life, as best as we can, but is it enough?

A farce... An irony... A hypocrisy.
"Don't destroy yourself trying to find out where."
- Cecilia Ahern, A Place Called Here.

Sian. Headache. Tired. Yet still must go on...
Wednesday, June 15, 2011 || 2:24 AM

Like every time only feel sian one. Headache also super common. Sometimes, I wish I had the problems of other girls my age. Then they could have my problems. I feel like their problems are so easy... But then, that's why it wouldn't be a problem.
Life's a joke. An irony. Life makes me tired sometimes. I wish for things that don't come true. I don't know why.
I miss Primary School. Things were much better there. At least I didn't feel like a bloody hypocrite.
OH SHIT. Mum's back.
I'm tired of running, but what to do?

Macau is OVERRATED.
Monday, June 13, 2011 || 12:04 AM

I wasted THREE DAYS FOR MACAU. It's overrated. Really. To an underage person, Macau is BORING. Should've stayed at home, like seriously. RAWR.
The only 'attraction', and it's not even that nice, is that wall, that was a church. Stupid. It's bloody hot there too. Granted, the show at the Water Theatre in the City of Dreams was awesome, but apart from that, really. IT SUCKS. SUCKS TO THE MAX FOREVER. Bleah.
NOT GONNA PLAY GOOSEBERRY TO MY PARENTS ANYMORE.
NOT GONNA THROW STUFF AROUND ANYMORE.
NOT GONNA GO MACAU TILL I'M AN UN-MINOR ANYMORE.
RAWR.


CHINA TRIP '11 FTW~ PART 2
Thursday, June 2, 2011 || 12:57 AM

Whee~
Okay. Here goes Part 2. Not much really. Just spazzing about China trip.
The weather there damn shiok. Come back Singapore is like sauna. Except that you can't really go around in just a bath towel. Damn. It's freaking hot here. The weather was so nice there T-T
Why cannot have cold weather here? -sobs-
Bleah.
Haiz.
Anyhoo. Lazy to post pictures. I think will have to wait for don't know how many donkey weeks before I post. Yupps.
I, had the time of my liiiiiife~
Damn sad sia... I miss China trip T-T
I miss all the cold jokes... I miss the weather. I miss playing Milktea and Murderer and Asshole every night. T-T
Bleah. But down there I miss the my bed and the toilets. Ah well.
Nevermind. Shall look forward to other things!
Macau trip! Yeah!
Maybe I should stop spazzing about random words that don't make sense but start talking about what REALLY happened there. Yupps.
Go to school there super fun. Cos we had all the English lessons -sniggers-
But then like quite awkward also. They split us all up and put one Singaporean person to 5-6 PRC people. Not nice. :( LOL max. They thought we couldn't speak Chinese AHAHAHAHAHA. Totally PWNED them when they ask me whether I could speak in Chinese and then I reply in Chinese. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Every meal there also eat salted duck. Actually not that bad lorhhs. One of the things I could count on if the meal not nice, so I actually abit sad when we left Nanjing, cos no more salted duck every meal :(

HANGZHOU IS PRETTY. OMGOMGOMG. WHY SINGAPORE DON'T HAVE SCENERY LIKE THAT?! T-T MAX SIA. XI HU IS ALSO SUPER PRETTY. OMGOMGOMGOMG. T-T. But I don't miss the cigarette smoke. Walao. Even in the bus also have. Our driver smokes, RAWR. MAKE MY LUNGS TURN BLACK. -EVIL STARE- Fortunately not while he driving, otherwise I think 'cher sure blast him de.

ONE MEAL IN HANGZHOU WAS EPIIIIIIIIIIIC. The waitress accidentally brought a plate of chicken nuggets to our table. Actually meant for another group of Singaporean students not from our school de. Then everyone was like, "Nuggets?! NUGGETSSSSSSSS!" "Eh, for us anot?" "Aiya, heck care lah. NUGGETS!!!!!!!!!!" Turn one round, everyone take one. Then everything gone le. Later the lady come back. WALAO, EPIC FACE! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Then got Shanghai. T-T Say Shanghai delicacy is xiaolongbao. Whole trip only eat ONE. ONE XIAOLONGBAO. T-T MAX SIA. But Shanghai food okay lah. Went shopping quite alot there. The East Pearl Tower (dong fang ming zhu ta) actually quite pretty. AWESOME MAX BEING ABLE TO SEE THE GROUND FROM 200+ METERS UP IN THE AIR!

Hehe. Still remember CZH's and Joseph, AKA Johnny Tam's face after they eat Insanity Sauce. I laugh like shit sia. Tell them, take abit only, take abit only. CZH go and coat his chopstick with it, ROFLMAO AND LOL TTM. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Haiz. Say bu ting lao ren yan, chi kui zai yan qian. Not only for lao ren can? Teenagers also :D

Yupps. So all for today. Spaz somemore tomorrow.

CHINA TRIP '11 FTW~ PART 1
Wednesday, June 1, 2011 || 2:20 AM

CHINA TRIP IS AWESOMEEEE~
MEGA SAD FACE to the people who never go~
whee~
Probably gonna take super long if I talk about every single day... So... I'll TRY to summarize... Or maybe I'll have part one, two, three, and so on?
China is awesome, China... wait. Edit. China TRIP is awesome, China trip is awesome~
Whee~
So much fun, fun, fun, fun!
I, had the time of my liiiiife~
And I never felt this way before!
And I swear, this is trueeeee,
And I owe it all to you, you, you, you, you, you, you...
Aiya. Lazy put all the yous. But you get the idea.
Hee. Got two pedos on the trip. Jasline and the stupid China guy.
PO-TA-TO~ NUGGETS~ STEAM EGG~
THE EPIC FOOD OF THE TRIP!
LOLOLOLOL.
帅?!
很shuai~
LOLOLOLOL. Btw, it's shuai, as in the suay kind. Bleah. Couldn't find the word for it ><
Haix... Okay. Think Imma do part one two three, etc. Lazy write somemore. ><